January 4, 2020

HEALTHY GROWTH MINDSET PART THREE

In my final post of this series, I’ll be talking about building our positive self-esteem, and what it takes to maintain it in this world of competition and relativity. While it’s a lifelong journey filled with ups and downs, it’s worth every single moment, because it’s through the hardships that we gain strength in our convictions. Our world is full of great differences that make each of us unique and special in our own ways. By fully understanding our truths and knowing ourselves, we can live our values while respecting others, and maintaining a positive holistic view on our lives!

Before we begin on Part Three, for those who are new to this series, and have missed the previous two messages, I’ve included information on each of them below.


LINKS TO THE FIRST TWO PARTS OF THE THREE-PART SERIES BELOW:


Part One: My inspiration behind writing this series. Learning to accept reality and relativity while building a solid positive self-image.

“We can’t change the reality of how the world works, nor the external landscape. But we can change how we handle it.”
—Mim Chawimon

Part Two: The routes we take that can impact our mindset and stunt our growth. And how to counter our negative self-talk with mindfulness.

“The key to countering negative self talk is by first accepting and honoring the reality of our feelings, and then handling it mindfully with grace and kindness.”
— Mim Chawimon

At the end of my last post I shared with you how to attain a neutral – positive base for growth, and how to set our mindset in a positive trajectory. Now, let’s look at what we can consciously choose to do if external circumstances keep challenging our self-esteem…

HOW TO MAINTAIN A POSITIVE SELF-ESTEEM IN THE WORLD FULL OF DIVERSITY AND RELATIVITY?

First is to be aware of the reality that people think differently, value different things, and have different preferences. Each of us are completely unique from the other, so it is impossible to “be enough” for everyone.

Once you set that reality as a foundation in your mind, there are three main concepts that I invite you to experiment with as a means to mindfully maneuver your life-long journey of maintaining a positive self-esteem. While I know many confident people, I’ve yet to meet one who has zero insecurities. No matter who we are—whether we’re a beloved star, a super model, a business woman, a stay-at-home mom—we all encounter insecurities consistently throughout our lifetime.

When we surpass one battle, we’ll likely encounter another, and another after that. The good news is each battle that we came out victoriously, our inner strength of positive self-esteem become more and more solid, and we become less susceptible and swayed by external pressures.

“it’s a life-long journey to maintain a positive self-esteem. Life will keep throwing us into situations where self-doubt and insecurities will arise. But each detour is like an exercise to our inner strength to maintain our positive self-esteem.”
—Mim Chawimon

Let’s look at three of the main concepts we can use to navigate our way back to our self-esteem when life challenges us. These include—knowing ourselves, taking a holistic view, and respecting others differences while living out our personal values.

KNOWING OURSELVES

“Getting to know ourselves at a profound level is the core of healthy growth and the foundation of a positive self-esteem.”
—Mim Chawimon

Introspective questions are the means to understanding ourselves more profoundly. Here are two questions that can help us dig a little deeper.

Question One: What is most important to you?

Look at what’s truly important to you and what matters the most in life. The answer to this first question will bring you closer to a more fulfilling life.

For me, life is not about “having it all.” Rather, based on my context of being, when I live a life that’s centered around what’s most important to me, happiness and fulfillment become simple and achievable. I’ve written a journal specifically dedicated to this topic—The Art of Finding Fulfillment.

If you’re struggling with determining what’s most important in your life, and what fulfills you, I invite you to read this journal. Understanding this question about yourself is essential for knowing what’s relevant and meaningful in your life, and for being able to filter out what’s not.

Question Two: Which values do you hold true to?

Look at which values you hold closest to your heart. This second question concentrates on your personal value set, and which values are the most important for you to hold true to.

If this question feels a little too conceptual to answer, try looking at these follow-up questions that can help lead you to your answer.

Which qualities do you like best about yourself?

Which qualities do you like best about others?

What kind of people do you like to hang out with?

Your list could likely go on forever with qualities you admire, but I challenge you to prioritize your list to between 3-5 core qualities only. Prioritization makes your life a lot simpler and more joyous. It makes things less overwhelming and prevents cognitive fatigue. Additional qualities falling outside your prioritized list of 3-5 can be considered qualities that are a “plus,” or “nice-to-have.”

As an example: For me, I love hanging out with people who are authentic, open-minded, and easy-going.

FOCUSING OUR ENERGY AND EFFORTS INTO WHAT MATTERS THE MOST

By understanding which values are the most important to us, we can better focus our energy and efforts on surrounding ourselves with those values and living more mindfully and purposefully.

I’ll share with you a personal life example of this in action. For me, my family and my significant other are my top priorities. They’re what’s most important to me, and my career comes second.

A few years ago, I was challenged with making a choice in which career I would pursue. I had the option to either pursue building my own business in wellness and hospitality, the field I feel most passionate about. Or to continue working in my family’s business and growing my career there where my family could greatly benefit from my skills.

I chose to continue working in my family business since the choice allows me to spend my energy and efforts on what’s most important to me— my family and the relationship with my significant other.

With that said, I didn’t abandon my personal passion to create something in the field of wellness. Instead I honored it, and negotiated with myself that when the time is right, I would return to that dream. And until then, I would find another tangible outlet for my passion. That’s when I dreamed up this personal website that allows me to share both my passion and knowledge in the field of wellness with you today.

While this passion project of mine might come in the form of a hobby—something I can’t call a career —this combination has worked well for me. Instead of trying to divide my energy and my efforts, I prioritized and compromised.

In this same way, instead of thinking we don’t have enough energy and time to do this and that, which is thinking from a deficit mindset, we can train ourselves to prioritize and compromise, which is more of a fulfilling mindset. And, when we answer the question of which values are most important to us, it allows us to grow both in our knowledge of ourselves, as well as our love for ourselves.

TAKING HOLISTIC VIEW

Returning back to the example of my career choice, if I were to look at my life from a successful career angle alone, my view on that choice could have been a lot different. I might have felt like my career was unsuccessful since I didn’t get to pursue my own legacy of success. This could then lead to the feelings of being victimized by the situation, and feeling cheated out of my dream of becoming the wellness guru I aspired to be.

However, by taking a holistic view—a view of my life as a whole—the picture is much different. I see the successful creation of a creative balance. A combination that matches my personal preferences and values. One for which, I feel completely happy and content with.

While I might only have limited time and resources to work on my passion project, I’m certain that my positive growth mindset and authentic conviction will lead me to do bigger and greater things in the future … When the right time comes. Until then, I’ll remain happy and content in being able to simply share my personal journey in mindful living with each of you here on my website.

As we continue to ride this wave called life, it’s important to take a holistic view of our life, and to make peace with ourselves and our choices. Doing this allows us to continue in a positive growth momentum, as we build a healthy mindset for our future.”
—Mim Chawimon

RESPECTING OTHERS DIFFERENCES WHILE LIVING OUT OUR VALUES

It is true that we find more comfort and ease when we are surrounded by those from the “same tribe”, however it does not mean we have to put our guard up to defend our preferences.

Each of us have different preference and values, as long as we hold true to our values, there is no need to push these values onto others. What I have noticed consistently is that when I sincerely show that I respect the different values and preferences of others, the potential friction that could have risen from our difference dissolves. When there is no friction, we can feel comfortable being ourselves, and relieve our need to put our guards up. When we genuinely treasure our own set of values, we walk and live our values. This practice solidifies our self-esteem, thus creating self-respect.

“The more we live up to our own set of values, the easier it becomes to accept and respect others’ differences, preferences, and values”
—Mim Chawimon

For when we consistently “approve ourselves,” by living up to our set of values, we do not feel the need to invalidate others in an effort to either defend ourselves or to prove ourselves to them.  This is the foundation where we can extend genuine respect to all.

Our world is full of great differences that make each of us unique and special in our own ways. By fully understanding our truths and knowing ourselves, we can live our values while respecting others, and maintain a positive holistic view on our lives!

FINALLY: GROW, BE AUTHENTIC, BE UNIQUE, RESPECT OTHERS, STAY POSITIVE!

The path towards healthy growth has to be based on authenticity and reality. Which means to accept the reality of relativity and the competitive dynamics of the world we live in today. There’s no need to either deny it all, or accept it all. We can choose our own battles, and handle each situation with mindfulness and grace.

There is a middle path of growth amidst the realm of comparison and relativity. To find that path, honestly accepting and honoring our inner truth is the first step. When we find that the truth hurts, or is negative—which is highly possible— pause and choose kind words to set our mindset on a neutral – positive base. Ask ourselves what do we want to do with that statement.  No matter what we choose, it becomes our choice, then we can own it.

Positive self-esteem is not something permanent, it requires a great deal of effort and inner work to maintain. But everything great is worth the effort. For when we fall down and get back up again, that’s the exercise of our inner strength muscles.

I’ve found these how-to steps that I’ve shared with you to be of great use to help me out of some hard times. It’s helped me handle my down moments, and pull myself up and out of the ruts.

Our world is full of great differences that make each of us unique and special in our own ways. By fully understanding our truths and knowing ourselves, we can live our values while respecting others, and maintain a positive holistic view on our lives!

Be grateful for all the experiences for they are nutrition for growth. Fall in love with this journal of self-evolution. Be in competition with no one, but ourselves from yesterday.”
– Mim Chawimon

Before signing off, I would like to let you know that I am very glad you have followed thru to the end of this series, and hope you have gained some insights along the way.

Don’t forget to be kind to yourselves and others always 😊

With Love,
Mim

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Fill out this field
Fill out this field
Please enter a valid email address.
You need to agree with the terms to proceed

12 + 12 =

Menu