November 2, 2020

NAVIGATING UNCERTAINTIES PART FIVE

Navigating to A Meaningful Destination

In the previous post we walked down the path of getting to know ourselves better. We dug down from within in order to bridge the gap between ourselves and how we interact with others and the world around us.

From there we discovered how to establish healthy boundaries in order to form meaningful relationships with self and others. We will now begin discussing avenues of where we want to be in life and identify why and how we will get there.

It is important to establish a very clear picture of where we want to be. Because without a clear picture, we might get lost along the way.


KNOW WHERE YOU WANT TO GO AND WHY YOU WANT TO GET THERE


I have seen countless successful people out there that get to where they are because they are very persistent with doing what serve to get them there. Mastering something is very much a consistency game. No doubt about that, but again in today world, why are there so many successful people that are not so happy with their lives? So there must be more than just “getting there”.

I am not in the position to claim that I know the answer or reasons behind why some successful people are unhappy. But I can share with you that those who are successful and happy are those who successfully materialized the vision that serve their life purpose.

Let’s just say that “like a good compass” we will never be totally lost, if we have a reason behind where we want to go. Along this journey of life our quest is to pursue our life purpose, there will be a lot of twists and turns where we can easily get swamped or sucked into the daily tasks of “to do’s.” We might even wind up doing something totally “off-track” and forget to serve our life purpose.

If this happens, it is important for us to take a pause, and zoom-out to look at the big picture of where we are in relation to our life purpose or our long term goal. This “zoom-out from mundane daily tasks to check-in with ourselves” process has served me very well. The process has allowed me to either celebrate being on the right track, or to take the time to right my course so I could get on the right track.

Each of us has our own life purpose. It is very personalized and nobody can stake that claim on that purpose for us. And because this is such an individualized purpose, I can only share from my own personal standpoint that my life’s purpose became clear over time to me through the practice of mindfulness and introspection.

If you’ve ever felt like your life purpose has become too elusive or hard to grasp, I want to invite you to look inward and learn more about yourself. One way you can do this is through learning mindfulness practices and through exploring your personal life balance.

(If you would like to learn more about life balance, I invite you to explore my post on The Art of Finding Fulfillment that might be helpful.)


PAUSE TO MAKE A SETTLEMENT AND MOVE FORWARD


Throughout our lives, we will be faced with many challenges and uncertainties that are beyond our control. During these times in our lives, we must take a moment or two to pause and process the situation.

When we allow time for a “pause” we can then create “space” for things to realign in our mind for the purpose of seeing things more objectively.

During this “pause” try to be “mindful” of how you talk to yourself. Are you complaining and pouting to yourself thinking “why is this happening to me?” Or are you accepting the situation how it is and trying to come up with solutions to what is really happening?

I personally don’t really like to complain out loud but I did find myself complaining and pouting in my head when encountered with something unpleasant. (Lol)

Actually, the reason why I can share this with you today is because I have gone through the complaining and pouting route before.  I learned the hard way that there is no point of complaining and feeling victimized.  Why? Because I noticed that such actions were really getting me nowhere and it did me no good other than feeling stuck!

So, let’s get” Unstuck” and get back on track, shall we?

Getting Unstuck 

Before going any further, I must add that during this inner self-work, “pause” so that you can acknowledge your feelings. How are you feeling? Are you feeling sad, angry or something else?

Let’s start by calming our emotions down by not replaying the entire situation over and over again. That would only get us deeper into our well of emotions and our judgement would become clouded by them.

Rather, “mindfully” divert your focus elsewhere. Maybe even try doing a breathing exercise. Then, once the emotions are calm, you can then begin to make sense out of them.

Just a quick disclaimer. I am in no way rushing you to go through and process your emotions. Please take your time as you see fit. By working through minor incidents at your own pace, hopefully you will be able to calm yourself down without trying to suppress your emotions.

On the other hand, in case it is a more serious incident, please allow yourself the time to process your emotions. Even if it is anger, grief or any other emotions that you happen to feel strong about.


MOVING FROM ACCEPTANCE TO CALRITY


By now, we have talked enough about how we cannot always expect to change the environment and other people. The best that we can do is to accept the situation and work with it. Part of accepting the situation helps us to acknowledge it through an objective lens. In turn, this helps us to obtain “clarity” that is needed in order to move forward more peaceably.

It should be noted that “accepting the situation” is very different from “feeling victimized”. The key difference is the point of view. The former comes from an objective, impartial point of view. While the latter comes from a more subjective point of view.  In short by “accepting the situation” you can then be aware of it from a more objective point of view and acknowledge it as it is. And we can process our emotions and get back on the proactive mode when we are ready.

To say to yourself, “I feel sad and I’m not ready to move on yet,” is different from, “I feel sad and it’s not fair that I ended up this way, why is this happening to me?” The first is acceptance and the course of action would then be to” pause.” While the second is resistance to the situation, which means that whatever you try to fight against will bounce back. And clearly, that would not get us anywhere positive.

So if you “pause” and gage the situation objectively, you can then get back on track by taking back the driver’s seat of your own life again. Not only is this “empowering” but it is the absolute opposite of being “victimized.” You can NOW “pause” and recharge here as long as you need to, knowing that things are within your hands. Feel that empowerment within. Don’t be a “victim” of the situation. That is the key message.

As a matter of fact, that pause allows us to be able to “choose”, and in turns empowers us …

At times, we would choose to pause / process emotion / rest before getting back on the proactive mode.

At times, in situations we are well equipped to handle, we would be able to get on the proactive mode right away, bridging the past to our now as well as choosing and laying the now brick for future that serves our Life Purpose.

NOW that we have worked hard on “navigating our uncertainties, finding our “balance” and making “meaningful connections, we can now continue working on the “pause” technique that we learned throughout this session.

Not only does this help us to become “unstuck,” it also teaches us how to establish clearer pathway as we move on to a more “enriched life” along each and every journey that we take throughout our lives.

Until next time, I look forward to seeing you again. Signing off for now!

With love,

Mim

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